INFINITE POSSIBILITIES OF EXPERIENCE HINDERED BY EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY
Key Extracts from Lecture 157
© The Pathwork® Foundation 1999
Nothing new ever comes into existence. This would be an impossibility. But it is possible to make manifest something that already exists. It is a fact that everything, absolutely everything, already exists. The word everything cannot convey the scope of this concept. When one speaks about God's infinity, about creation's infinity, this is part of the meaning. There is no state of being, no experience, no situation, no concept, no feeling, no object, no manifestation – in whatever variety or type of degree – that does not already exist. It exists as a potentiality, and already in the potential lies the finished product… Nothing is created anew, all exists already. It exists on another level of being, of experience, of consciousness. It can be found right now, immediately, if and when specific obstructions are eliminated. Knowing and understanding this principle of creation – that all exists already and that man can make these existing possibilities manifest – is one of the necessary prerequisites. Before man can create new possibilities of unfoldment and entirely new ranges of experience in his personal life, it is necessary that he first learns to apply these laws of creation to his problem areas, to those aspects of his life where he is troubled, limited, handicapped – where he feels trapped. Healthy unfoldment follows the creation of a healthy personality.
You cannot bring to life that of which you cannot conceive. This sentence should be truly meditated on, for the understanding of it will open new doors. And you should also understand that there is a vast difference between conceiving of further possibilities of expansion, of happiness, on the one hand, and of daydreaming, on the other. Wistful, resigned daydreaming that grabs the fantasy as a substitute for drab reality is not at all what is meant here, and is really a hindrance to the proper conceiving of life's potentials. What I mean is a vigorous, active, dynamic reality concept of what is possible. When you know something you wish to bring about exists in principle, you have made the first step toward its realization. Therefore I invite every one of you to contemplate what you truly conceive of as possibilities for your life. If you examine yourself closely, you will find primarily that you conceive of negative possibilities which you naturally fear and wish to avoid.
…not knowing that all exists already so that it can be (re)created as a manifestation in his life makes him dependent on an outside force, another authority, for all his wants and needs. In this distortion of facts, he waits for fulfillment from the wrong source. This keeps the need perpetually unfulfilled. The more unfulfilled he is, the more urgent the need becomes. The more urgent the need, the greater his dependence, his hope, his attempt to please the other who is supposed to fill it. He becomes desperate – desperate because the more he tries, the less the need is fulfilled, as it must be in this unrealistic attempt. Consciously he knows none of this, he does not know what forces drive him, not even in what direction. And he is desperate because in his urgency to have the need fulfilled, he betrays himself, his truth, his best. Both his frustrated striving and his self-betrayal create a forcing current. This forcing current may manifest in a very subtle way. It may not be overt at all, but the emotions are all cramped up with it, and this must inevitably affect others and have its lawful and appropriate consequences. Any forcing current is bound to make others resist and shrink back.
If energy is used in its natural, correct, meaningful way, it never exhausts itself… It only does so when it is wrongly used.
In order to reorient and recondition the soul forces into health and into their true nature, the following must happen. Man must let go of the particular person or persons of whom he expects his life fulfillment and whom he simultaneously resents for this very fact… This is why it is so essential to let out these negative emotions in the way you learn to do on this path, where no one is harmed. Letting out makes room for the good feelings… The reorientation (apart from recognizing all these aspects, of course, which is the fundamental necessity) must always begin by the willingness to let go.
It is our aim to bring the real self out completely. In order to do so, this weak point must be found where you can eventually let go. It is where you are most bound, most anxious. Ask yourself what it is you want from the other – where you are bound, so resentful, so afraid, so weak, so unable to be yourself. This is your leash which can be given up only when you stop wanting from others what you must supply for yourself. Whatever it is you find you need from others, verbalize it concisely to yourself. This will bring you nearer to letting go.
By letting go and giving up inner forcing, you will experience the beauty of free relationships, not forced relationships… When you can lose gracefully, you will find a treasure within that is an entirely new venture, a new way of life.